Tonight's entry is one I write with a contemplative heart, full of humility and in awe of my Father, the ALMIGHTY God.
Where do I begin?? The phrase "be careful what you pray for" is swirling around my mind at a pace that would challenge the biggest tornado you could imagine. While it swirls around it kicks up "dust" in the form of many suppressed thoughts that I have carefully shelved in the library of my mind, set aside to deal with another day. Well friends, that day has arrived. I am overwhelmed by the intensity of of my thoughts. Don't get me wrong, I am kind of happy and eager to clean house and sort through the many things that cloud my mind and hinder growth.
I have often heard people offer" be careful what you pray for" when big things happen, good or bad. I have even said it a million times myself, but when God does answer a prayer so obviously that it kind of knocks you up side of the head, I am always taken off guard. I know He listens to me and answers all my prayers (even when I don't get what I want:) ) I am still humbled when I see him working in my life.
I remember when I met Aaron and we were still in the beginning phases of getting to know one another. I remember how shocked I was that he fit so many of the specifications I had prayed for a million times when praying for the man I wanted to marry. I remember thanking God for bringing us together. One of the things I specifically prayed for was that "he" would be financially wise. Well, if you know Aaron AT ALL you know he is FRUGAL, okay down right cheap!! Be careful what you pray for!:)
Well, lately God has been knocking my socks off. I have been praying that God would use me, teach me and stretch me. Well, He has taken me up on my prayer. Last weekend I was asked by my Pastor if I would consider taking over the position of nursery coordinator at our church. Well, for those of you who don't know, it is a BIG job and there is a lot of responsibility. The job takes a lot of planning, detail work, scheduling and most importantly showing the youngest people in our church the love of God the moment they come into our care. I have a lot of idea's and I am excited to get started, but let me first tell you that I turned the offer down before I accepted it. Let me explain. Thursday, I went to my Pastor and told him I didn't think I felt called to the position, but when I left my heart was heavy. I felt like Jonah. I felt like I was running from what God had called me to do. It is strange because I when I decided to tell Pastor Mark no, I felt confident that God was leading me to do so. I had prayed and prayed about it and thought I understood what God wanted me to do, however, when I had closed the door of my van after talking to Pastor Mark, I knew I was wrong. I am scared. I feel nervous about all the job requires, but I realize that is because I am trying to figure it out on my own and not allowing God to guide me. I have been praying specifically that God would use me, and now He is doing just that and I doubt that He is really calling me into service. Be careful what you pray for. :)
Now, onto another thought. In church this morning, one of the passages we read was 1 Samuel 12:19-25. Verse 23 says, "As for me, far be it from me that I should sin against the Lord by failing to pray for you." Wow, I was really challenged by this passage. When I was going through all of the medical drama this year I cannot tell you how many people said "I'm praying for you". I often wondered how many of them really were. I don't mean to sound judgmental. I apologize if I offend you, I am just sharing what I feel. I know that I have said I will pray for someone, but how many times did I forget to follow through? More than I would like to admit. I don't think I realized how serious of an offense it was. I don't think I thought about it as sinning against God. OUCH! That one stings.
I wonder when I will start to believe God is the God He promises He is in His word? I do know that I am excited to begin this new adventure and I covet your prayers. As for the "dust" left over from the tornado of thought, well, I am sorting through the rubble and I think I am starting to make a dent. :) One day at a time. Now I am off to pray, I wonder if I will be careful with what I pray for?? You will be the first to know!:)
*********************************** Becky Dell *********************************
*********************Child of God, happily married to a wonderful man and together we are raising 2 amazing Boys!*************
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